Sorry that I am born

Have you ever been so depressed that you just broke down
and did everything you said you'd never do??
When you see my scars, don't tell me to stop cutting.
Don't tell me that is stupid, because you do not understand
what I am going throgh. No one will ever know.
I am sorry but I can't explain. And when my friends joke about
cutting I can just sit there and running my fingers across my wirst.
I cut myselfe never too deep, never enough to die. But still enough 
to feel the pain. Enough to hear the scream deep inside..
It's still enough to stay alive..Therefore I belive nobody can ever love me..
So I cut again..And again..and again..
I try my best to look good but I always feel ugly..I am despairing..
I am disappointing..I feel lonely and useless..Every single breath hurts so much..
My scars are symbols for feelings I' ve never felt..For situations I can't handle..
For my whole life..It's something deep inside which want to get out of me..